Introspection

As you may know, I’ve had a lot of downtime over the past three weeks and that gave me tons of time to think.

Now, that isn’t always a good thing. Sometimes it can be creative and sometimes it can be depressing. During this slow healing process, I’ve taken a good long look at myself.

Some call this “Shadow work.” I call it being honest with myself about every aspect that makes up my being.

Yes, I have gone through every one of the emotions shown. I’ve gone from telling myself that I’m stumbling through life pretending, to realizing I have a gift that is only mine and I must share it.

Introspection is not always pleasant. I’m not a fan of facing my fears, my insecurities, or my failings. It’s much easier to float through life without much thought.

But, I realized something through these bouts of self-micro inspection. All of us are complex creatures. We are multi-dimensional beings. We are connected by an invisible thread of common energy and we’re all on this crazy little whirling rock together. And, we all suffer varying degrees of pain and despair from time-to-time.

Image Via Pixabay

So, I share this with you and for you.

40 thoughts on “Introspection

  1. Jan- Goid morning I hope youโ€™re healing well. This was a great blog, you know being a recovering alcoholic I had to do this in treatment and itโ€™s truly
    ( no pun intended) sobering. It hurts, itโ€™s reveals, and it cleanses our souls. I hated it at the time, but as I look back now, I know it was very healing.
    You do have a God given talent and you are a wonderful gift to all of us, your friends and family. We are our biggest critics, but I think re-evaluating ourselves also can be healing.
    Love you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Tonya. I agree that introspection can be healing. If we never see a problem, then we can never fix it or even work on it. The biggest hurdle is seeing and admitting the truth. And, as always in life, we have to do the work. I know I am healing but damn, it’s really going slow and it’s wearing me down. I keep reminding myself there are lots of folks worse off and hurting more than I am and I need to suck it up! I’m just ready for the pain to subside! Have a great day! Love you too!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jan, I needed to hear this today. My health has not been good for a while (I’m in need of a double knee replacement in the near future). About a month ago I strained some muscles in my back (probably due to the fact I can’t walk good). Anyway, I was feeling a little sorry for myself and the pain I’m in. We went to church and our pastor said these words, “Maybe you’re feeling down because your health or finances aren’t what you’d like them to be, but God loves you.” I needed those words as well as what you wrote here.

    The range of emotions you’ve felt is normal. But even though we’ve not met in person, I’m confident you’ll come through this strong. {{{Hugs}}}

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, thank you for your awesome comment, Joan. I need to know that I’m not the only one suffering. ๐Ÿ™‚ Misery loves company. The pastor’s words were definitely meant for you and maybe others in the congregation as well. I am confident I will come through this strong (eventually) and it will be a distant memory. But, it will definitely affect the pace I move at for a long time to come. I keep hearing these words in my head, “Be gentle with yourself.” So, I’ll say those words to you too! Hugs back!!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I think the hardest thing for me is not being able to do the things I once did. I know I will again someday but itโ€™s tough losing some of my independence. Iโ€™m sure that must be hard for you as well. Getting older isnโ€™t always fun!

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, sweet Annette, I know you too have been dealing with physical issues. But, you just keep on going strong and never seem to miss a beat. You are an inspiration! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment! Hugs!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Where you have been is not a pleasant place. Whenever physical things happen, it brings us closer to the realization that these “soul casings.” are loaned properties. The questions about our journey are healthy to ask, and I think the reason for our physical interdiction is to allow for a time of reflection. You are not alone, and the angels are with you every day. I have had physical issues since I was twenty-one, and each episode has taught me to continue on my path in spite of those issues. Try to remember at times like these that you are loved by a significant number of people and spirits. Your poem is touching, and now that it is written, you can embrace your talent with a full heart and continue to heal.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for such awesome and kind words, John. I love that you refer to these bodies as “soul casings.” That is so true and yet we spend so much of our time and energy trying to keep our soul casings healthy and feeling good, or at least feeling good if not healthy. ๐Ÿ™‚ You are an inspiration! I’m happy you stopped by and left such a wonderful heart-felt comment!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve been in “that” place more times than I care to admit. An injury allows us to go there without all our busy things in life. Your poem is amazing and really caught that moment we can all sink into, wondering if life has no meaning or if we have no purpose. Then you found that light again and realized your beautiful worth and the help that is always there for us–even when we can’t see it through our pain. We aren’t alone. We have each other in this world and the angels watching over us. May your mind, body, and spirit continue to keep healing. Thanks for posting this and the hope behind it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Denise. I have run the full gamut of emotions through this injury and the severity of the pain. And I always come around to the feeling of hope and of love. We do have each other in this world and that is such a beautiful thing! Then add in the teams that work with us from the other dimension and it’s pretty darned amazing! I truly appreciate your comment. Hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Jan, I know the shadow work well. You are on the right path if you’ve decided to pick yourself up and heal. You have a voice the world wants to hear. This may sound trite, but I believe it’s true: cracks are how the light gets in.

    Ring the bells (ring the bells) that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)
    That’s how the light gets in

    Leonard Cohen, Anthem

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Hi Jan, it’s not easy to be honest, open and vulnerable to share. I appreciate you doing it.

    I deal with the ongoing struggle of lymph-edema on my right leg from cancer treatment. I can’t be lazy even for one day not wearing the compression stocking. It’s not easy to put it on either. I didn’t wear it yesterday and it took me extra time at night for the leg to calm down so I could sleep. It’s a daily battle. I also need to take med to calm the tingling four hours before bedtime. I forgot, last night. I took it right before bedtime, it took four hours before I could sleep. I felt asleep at 4am. When I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t think.

    I injured my right arm and have carpal tunnel problem since October last year. Went to the orthopedist and occupational therapy. Since nothing was torn, there’s nothing the doctor can do. The only thing I can do is to use the computer 10 minutes at a time, rest my arm a lot and massage it often. I have been having downtime for 10 months. It feels about 60% better, but it’s still a long way to go.

    Sorry I didn’t keep up how your injury happened. I hope this will pass soon enough for you. Just know that the person next to you maybe in a worse situation without voicing it. Sending you flowers from my garden! โค

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Miriam. You are so right about many people suffering more than I am. My heart is with you and I pray that your struggles calm soon! And in the midst of your struggles you managed to publish a new book of poetry! That is pure determination!! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, Jan. In fact, it was from formatting my book that got my arm in trouble. I’ll have someone do it for me for my next book. My arm slows me down from writing right now. As for my leg, I used to set the alarm to remind me to take medication in the evening. I should get back to doing it.

        Hope you feel better soon.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s only natural to take a hard look at ourselves and our lives now and then, Jan. To search for meaning and try to understand the path fate leads us on. Given what you’ve been though recently, it’s even more understandable. I hope you continue to heal–mind, body, and spirit.
    The uplifting end of your poem says it all—Love, peace, faith renewed, heartache will cease.
    Sending you wishes for only the very best {{hugs}}

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, Mae. It is natural to take a hard look at ourselves now and then and be 100% honest about what we see. I am going to be making some changes in the way I’ve been running at such a hectic pace. It’s time for a readjustment and it took something like breaking a rib to shut me down and make me think. I appreciate your comment. And the ending of the poem is where I move forward from! Thanks so much for your awesome support! Hugs back!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love your poem, Jan. It says so much in so few words. You know, sometimes these things are nothing more than needing a good jarring. Maybe God couldn’t get your attention any other way. I know this long ordeal with my eyes was God’s way of slowing me down because I didn’t have sense enough to do it myself. If we don’t listen, He forces us. If you look back, I think you’ll see how hectic your life was. You were going in a run from daylight to midnight. We just don’t have a lick of sense. Either one of us. Promise you’ll rein me in if I take on too much and get too busy. I promise to do the same. Love you dearly, sister!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Your poem is beautiful, as is your frank, heartfelt and open post. We all have sorrows, health issues, difficulties and on-going trials to contend with at various stages and it helps us to see and understand that we are not alone.
    Bouquets to you for opening yourself up and to your many fans and readers for sharing their pain while applauding you for revealing your vulnerabilities as well as your determination to overcome them. Hugs to you.
    Robert: Thank you for Re-blogging this post and for the appropriate painting to go with it -it is phenomenal. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m so sorry that you’re injured, Jan, and that it cascaded into some self-doubt and consternation. I think it’s helpful to introspect and analyze when we are feeling “off.” I’m not a religious person, but I do believe that unpleasant experiences create opportunities for growth. We can’t change the past, but we can rearrange ourselves, forgive ourselves, love ourselves and move forward. Sending you lots and lots of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Self reflection can be a painful, yet healing process. I’ve been in some dark places too, so I can emphasize with what you’re feeling. Be gentle with yourself, you are very talented and caring. I wish you all the best for a full and faster healing.

    Liked by 1 person

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