It’s no secret I’ve always been attracted to “bad boys” throughout life. I remember writing a High School paper on the outlaw, Billy The Kid. Some of my classmates thought it was strange, but it wasn’t to me.
I came by it honest – that attraction. My dad was a hard-working man that never committed a crime in his life other than a little light boot-legging in his younger years. But, he had a great admiration for the outlaws of his time. Bonnie and Clyde, Pretty Boy Floyd, Machine Gun Kelly, and Baby Face Nelson were just a few of the outlaws he looked up to. I remember, as a child, going with him to see Bonnie and Clyde’s car, with all the bullet holes in it, on display in Oklahoma City.
But, no wonder. He’d come through the horrible Great Depression; a time when they had no home and no food to eat. He admired the outlaws for taking from the rich. If he hadn’t been a family man, it is possible that he might have been tempted to follow their lead.
Nevertheless, that affinity to outlaws got passed down to me. I fantasized about riding on the back of a Harley with the infamous Sonny Barger and dreamed of being rescued from religious oppression by a swarthy pirate. So, it was no surprise when I was drawn to a Texas outlaw musician at the young age of 19. And, then when they sent him to prison with a 75-year sentence, it was no surprise that I wound up marrying a Harley rider. I openly admit that without the Harley, this man would have held no attraction to me. Maybe that’s shallow, but it’s honest. I know many women suffer from this disease and it may have caused a few problems throughout life.
I wrote a scene in “The Convict and the Rose,” where Will and Darlina ride the Harley to Dallas to party with the Bandidos MC. It didn’t end well. Those of you who have read it know what I’m talking about.
Author, Rhani D’Chae, wrote “Shadow of the Drill,” about two bad boys, Decker and Rudy and Decker’s woman, Charlotte. I totally related to Charlotte and saw bits and pieces of myself in her (only she’s stronger and gutsier than I could ever be.)
So, in thinking about all of that, I began to wonder if there are men who grow up being attracted to “bad girls.” Do men suffer this same disease as women and for the same reasons? I did some research and found that most men want a nice girl to settle down with, but can’t deny they are attracted to bad girls. The research also found that, if they are honest, men are only thinking about bad girls from a sexual context. They don’t want a bad girl for a wife but fantasize about wild sex with them.
The study had this to say:
“When it comes to the allure of a bad girl, it’s not necessarily that men want a force of destruction in their life. It has more to do with the symbolism of what a bad girl represents. When men think of bad girls, they imagine a woman who is sexually free, open for adventure and just doesn’t care what other people think of her. These are women who play by their own rules and will try just about anything once.
In a world where many men increasingly feel that they are living a monotonous life with an overwhelming number of rules and restrictions, this can be incredibly appealing, even if it is nothing more than a fantasy. It’s the symbolic freedom that men have yearned for, the freedom that the average relationship doesn’t always allow due to the constraints of society and responsibility. Of course, men know they will be happier with supportive and responsive women in the long term, but sometimes the temporary excitement that a bad girl represents is just too much to pass up.”
I would tend to agree with that.
My new book, “When Two Worlds Collide,” has this scenario: The guy is a computer geek who almost runs a Harley rider off the road by accident. He goes to apologize and finds that it is a girl. She has a tough exterior and keeps her heart guarded for many reasons. He is compelled to “fix” her. So, it is a book of opposites. I hope that it will see the light of day sometime soon. I’m still waiting to hear from one more publisher.
I like writing about opposites and the conflict that can come from simply that one aspect.
So, what do you think? Girls, do you like bad boys, or do you avoid them? Men, are you attracted to bad girls? Tell the truth now!